Are you being pulled too many directions?

What I have noticed with lots of clients at the moment, is that they feel they are being pulled and stretched in too many directions. And this takes them away from feeling calm and centred.

I would like to share with you a simple process to help you feel calmer and most peaceful with your life as it is right now.

Make a list of things that take you away from being present. Include thoughts, feelings and actual things such as work, taking care of the kids, house chores etc

Here are some of the most common thoughts and feelings clients share that  bother them most:From Chaos to Calm wordcloud

Once you have your list, make a picture of images or words of the things that take up their time and space in your head.

At a recent workshops, we did this process and here are some of the pictures participants drew:


Once you have completed your picture, look at it and choose an emotion that matches how you feel about it from the Emotional Scale below.

1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelm
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

Once you have identified the emotion, do some EFT/ Tapping on this emotion and then check in with how you feel about the picture again. In the workshop, we did this a few times and all the participants observed their feelings getting  lighter and more positive. Repeat this until you are feel Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love :) If you have never tapped before, download a FREE EFT manual here.

In the workshop, we then did another process using a combination of EFT and Family Constellations processes to deepen their experience. If you would like to know more about these workshops (Retreats for Women) go here. Or if you live far away, we can achieve the same with 1-2-1 programmes – to book a consultation to find out more about Fast Track to Freedom programmes. To see how I work with skype (working with a client with inappropriate anger towards her son), go here.

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Lunchtime Tapping with Tamara on periscope

I have just discovered Periscope :) Have you tried it? If you don’t know what it is, its an app that you can download onto your phone and watch live broadcasts worldwide.

I have decided to make use of this technology and offer a free tap-along on Monday lunchtimes at 1:00pm UK time. The broadcasts will be available for 24 hours so if you can’t make it, you can always watch later.

So if you have any special requests on themes to tap on, please let me know…

Here is my first Lunchtime Tapping with Tamara:

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EFT and Family Constellations (video)

A few weeks ago I presented a talk on EFT and Family constellations at the Association of Meridian Therapies (AMT) conference. The AMT reported that this presentation was one of the most popular and talked about at the conference!

My focus was the importance of the flow of love from one generation to the next, what can cause interruptions in that flow and how to strengthen that flow when it has broken. To see the presentation, go here:

To attend an EFT and family constellation workshop, go here.

See what people say about doing EFT with family constellations:

“I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your presentation and to thank you for allowing me to be your demo:) I got a lot from it and I think the others did too. It’s a really powerful tool and it made it so easy and gentle to get into deep stuff.” Jaqui Crook

“Honestly, it was amazing, such deep healing going on in me and through me. Feeling so honoured to be a part of it all.  I just can’t believe that so many changes with my mother happened after I did the constellation yesterday… or maybe I can. Amazing! Really amazing! ” RP

“Having spent a few occasions under Tamara’s guidance with family constellations, it has always been an utterly fascinating process. Each time, I have been a representative, which meant I have cried other’s tears and felt other’s feelings, it’s always been a very powerful experience. Last week, however, I was the issue holder and my word, this incredible process succeeded in shifting a belief that was so deeply held that I didn’t even realise it was there! The intensity of the experience was very gently facilitated by Tamara, who skilfully knew what questions to ask, when to ask them, all the time creating an atmosphere of safety, so that emotions were allowed to flow. If that wasn’t powerful enough, the knock on effect to family members not even in the room with us was phenomenal. A deeply healing journey, held in experienced, kind and gifted hands.” Leora Leboff

I found you to be very intuitive and gentle and using EFT combined with the Family Constellation method was a really effective and frankly extraordinary mix.  

 I suppose I thought it might be all fluffy nonsense but the impact is unquestionable – it really has made a significant and immediate difference to how I am feeling and my general energy levels.  It is hard to see how saying some words and tapping on different points can do anything at all but I know it did because I felt the changes and I still feel the benefits.

 All the good things from the session are still gently reverberating inside me.  My love for my son has definitely increased or rather my connection to it.  I feel much more compassionate and patient with him. 

 I’ve been away this weekend with my parents and one of my brothers and his family and it has been a lovely time.  I have felt free to enjoy them all and let anything frustrating, annoying or unhelpful to me just wash over me.  I didn’t realise all this army stuff was going on inside me but now that its out I can see how it has been effecting me.  With all the centenary memories of the first world war there are a lot of reminders all around of war, particularly in my parents home as my father is very involved in writing histories of the war.  I found looking at some of the photos and such like this weekend very moving in a helpful way.  I feel connected with the sadness of warfare but not dominated by it. 

I had a moment with my son where I think I would have been angry with him a week ago but this time I found myself defending him, protecting him as he let a cascade of typical 3 year old emotion wash over him rather than being impatient or angry with him.  It felt really good and his little face afterwards looking at me with such love was really special.  A little later he tracked me down across the house saying ” I have something important to say to you Mummy.  I love you from top to bottom!”  It was so sweet.  I really felt he’d observed a change in me and was responding to it.  If I have no other benefits from EFT and your priceless session, this little moment was worth everything.  And to be honest, I am sure I will get more and more from EFT.”  HH




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Family Constellations – The Knowing Field

The Knowing Field is the term used in Family Constellations to describe the space from which the Representatives (people chosen by the person, called Issue Holder, whose issue is being represented) sense information about their situation. This information sensed through emotions and body sensations. The Representative does not need to know anything about the Issue Holders history or story, in fact, it is possible for the Representative to not even know who they are representing!

Women representing a line of mothers in a family constellation presentation at the AMT conference

Women representing a line of mothers in a family constellation presentation at the AMT conference

This sounds bizarre but the way I first experienced the Knowing Field was when I was picked to be a representative for a mother who had given her child away to be adopted. All of a sudden I was filled with emotions that were not mine! When I was asked to look at the representative for the child I had giving away, I felt complete disgust when my “child” was standing in front of me and had to look away. In fact the person representing the child was a friend of mine and I had no hard feelings towards them.

Under the instructions of the constellator (facilitator) each Representative was asked to move or say various sentences to other Representatives. When either of these things happened my emotions and body sensations changed and if felt as if we were all in a giant bowl of soup in which I was feeling the ripples of movement made in some other part of the bowl!

Now this may sound far fetched but that good news is that this Knowing Field has also been defined by Rupert Sheldrake, biologist and author of more than 80 scientific papers and ten books, as a Morphic Field in which “contains a built-in memory given by self-resonance with a morphic unit’s own past and by morphic resonance with all previous similar systems.”

Autumn leavesIn this part of the world its Autumn at the moment and as I was walking the other day I saw a wirlwind of Autumn leaves being swirled around by the wind. I realised that the wind is like the Knowing Field and the leaves are like the Representatives. If you are out of the wind, you can’t see or feel the wind, but you can see the impact of the wind on the leaves, blowing them around.

If you would like to find out about the workshops I run with Family Constellations and EFT and receive a FREE EFT manual, then sign up here. The next workshop is on 30th November in Kings Langley.

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Two minutes can give you your sanity back!

Can you relate?

You overslept because you only dropped off in the early hours having spent the rest of the night worrying about how you were going to get it all done today.

You rushed your children to get ready for school and lost your temper with one of them because they refused to wear their coat.

You had a near miss in traffic on the way to school because the kids were arguing in the back of the car.

You arrived at school stressed and irritated and your youngest asked you if you still loved him.

You were late for work still carrying the guilt and stress of the morning run.

Woman JugglingAre you wondering how long you can carry on like this?

Are you wondering what the point of life is?

Are you craving time for yourself but feeling guilty that you haven’t spent quality time with your kids or your partner?

What if you could wave a magic wand and your morning could  start like this instead?

You woke up in the night thinking about your To Do list and spent 2 minutes using a powerful stress relief tool which sent you back to sleep.

In the morning you woke up early, spent 2 minutes using this tool again which left you feeling refreshed, present and available for your kids.

When one of them refused to wear their coat you felt frustrated so you popped to the loo (by yourself!) and spent 2 minutes using this tool again.

You then returned to your child feeling calm and centred to deal with the situation in hand.

On the way to school your kids started arguing so you spent 2 minutes the stress-relief tool again with your children and soon they were chatting happily again.

You arrived at school happy and relaxed, gave your kids and big hug, told them you love them and drove off to work ready for your day ahead.

You may be thinking “yeh right! Does she live in cloud cuckoo land?! She doesn’t know what its really like.”

When you are tired and stressed and need to rush to get things done, while your children are meandering along at their own slower pace and are easily distracted, there is conflict and constant pressure to hurry them along.

WindYou may remember Aesop’s fable about the sun and wind having a competition to see who could get the coat of a man more quickly. The wind blew and blew and the more it blew the tighter the man wrapped his coat around him. The sun shone warmly and brightly and the man got hot and took his coat off. What if the man represented your children and you had a choice:

To be like the wind and try to force them to do what is required of them or to be like the sun and shine warmly on them so that they wanted to cooperate?

Can you afford NOT to invest 2 minutes of your time before your children wake up, in order to feel more calm, in control and relaxed about your day?

When you feel less stressed, calmer and happier, it has a knock on affect on those around you so you will be less likely to encounter conflict.

By this point you are probably wondering what this magic tool called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)/ Tapping is. What if I tell you its:

  • powerful
  • easy-to-learn technique
  • often has fast results
  • is simple enough that even children can use it!

You may be thinking that you haven’t got any space in your life to do anything extra or different. And I would ask you:

What is the cost to you, your family and your work not to change?

You possibly remember being told in a plane to put your own oxygen mask on before helping your children. Well, I would like to offer you a metaphorical oxygen mask so that you can be:

* Available and present with your kids
* Sleep well at night
* Have more energy and clarity so that you are in a good state of mind to create changes in your life that give you a good work-life balance.
* Feel nourished and nurtured as a woman and person in your own right

Click here to download a FREE EFT manual or take advantage of a limited number of FREE 30 minute “Give Me My Sanity Back” consultations, you will benefit from:

* learn more about this process with a mini taster session of what it can offer you
* feel empowered to know it is achievable to make lasting changes in manageable steps
* a ‘next step’ action plan to:
        – create better sleep,
        – more availability for your kids and work
        – increased clarity and peace of mind..

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I’m having a love affair!

Don’t freak out. I’m still happily married to Peter Donn!  Its just that for the last few weeks I have been very preoccupied with a particular rose bush I meet on my walk to the allotment.  The flowers are exquisite with colours ranging from the newly opened vibrant yellow to the more mature pale yellow roses with a pale pink tinge.  What really fills me up is the intoxicating aroma that I struggle to wrench myself away from. By now I am familiar with each flower intimately and have realised that its the smell of the newly open young roses that sends me to an aromatic heaven!

I always pause to take time to enjoy and appreciate this moment which brings so much gratitude for nature, the allotment and my ability to get so much pleasure from such a simple thing.

Pausing, creating time for yourself and being grateful are essential elements for my life. I once heard some wise words:

roseEvery day take some minutes for yourself
Every week take some hours for yourself
Every month take a day for yourself
Every few months take a weekend for yourself
Every year take a week for yourself

When you take time out for yourself, you have so much more to offer others be it taking care of family, running a business or general juggling of life.

Here are some suggestions on how you can take time out for yourself:

Very regularly:
Stop to smell the roses!
Go for a walk
Do a round of EFT every morning and evening

Have an Epsom salt bath
Give yourself a foot spa and/ or massage
Attend a class that feeds your soul
Have a massage
Receive an EFT session
Attend the Red Tent Retreat (for women)
Go out for a nice meal with friends

Every so often:
Book a weekend or week away
Learn a new skill or tool to support your journey. For EFT courses, check here.
Attend A Woman’s Journey Retreat

I would love to hear what brings you pleasure in your life. What do you appreciate and how do you create space to pause and be in your daily life?

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A Woman’s Journey Retreat

Last weekend I had the honour of facilitating a group of courageous, wise and inspirational women who attended my A Woman’s Journey Retreat in the beautiful Latimer Place in the rolling hills of the Chilterns.

As the name suggests each participant was invited to reflect on her journey through life as a woman. We then used a series of processes (including EFT and family constellation exercises) to release any negative feelings about past events and create resources to step into our lives with love, strength, groundedness, wisdom and courage.

Here are some of the comments from the participants:

A few days after the retreat, I received this feedback:

“…there have been so many subtle changes going on this week that I’ve been amazed.  I’m feeling the love from so many women around me, some who I’ve not been in contact with for a while.  I feel like I’m connecting more and yes even belonging more since the retreat. I know it’s only a few days since it but the changes are clear and recognisable.  How amazing is that?? Thank you!!” ,Rachael Posener, Reflexologist

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